This doesn't look like postpartum depression, does it?

I’m going to be on my local FOX station (FOX-13) this morning to talk about my experience with post-partum depression.

It’s not something that’s easy for me to talk about and I’d say partially because when you say that you’ve had it you open yourself up to some criticism and people don’t really believe you. However, when you say you’ve had it, all the women in your life miraculously come forward to say, “me too.”

The topic is very much in the news here because a local woman in our area is accused of killing her son and deputies say that she suffered from post-partum depression.

See, we talk about post-partum depression all the time and we know so many people who go through it, and we are always shocked when something terrible happens because of it.

Even worse, many people still don’t believe it is real. That it’s perhaps, “just an excuse.”

But I can assure you it is a very real thing.

The thing is, I wouldn’t have actually known it unless my doctor told me because I didn’t believe it either. That’s the funny thing about post-partum depression.

You feel sad and depressed, yes. But you don’t actually feel like anything’s wrong, you are still very much you, you just feel like it is just a sort of bad mood you’re in. A really long, drawn out bad mood. Sort of.

It’s a funk but it’s a funk in which you can’t tell that there is something actually wrong. I cannot explain this except to show you what I mean through my own experience 4 years ago, with my 2nd son.

For me there were some feelings of claustrophobia, like I needed to escape my house for some reason, like the walls were closing in on me.

And it felt like I couldn’t get a grip on anything. Anything at all, no matter how simple it was, was overwhelming.

Making yams for a Christmas dinner side dish.

Finding an outfit to wear.

None of these seemingly simple tasks were easy. But if you told me it was post-partum depression, I would have said, no, I just haven’t had much sleep and I am pissed.

When my son was about 4 weeks old, it was Christmas day and I had a 19-month old too and we were getting ready to go to my mom’s house for dinner. I was running back and forth trying on clothes that were sort of dressy and festive and I say running back and forth because there was a full-length mirror in the guest bedroom and I would try the clothes on in my room and run across the house to see what they looked like.

It wasn’t good.

I was more than 50 pounds overweight and I was lumpy and nothing fit. The more I tried on clothes, the sweatier I got. The sweatier I got trying to stuff myself in festive Christmaswear, the more upset I got. Meantime, I was trying to make the yams that I said I would bring. We are now rushing around because it is almost time to leave and I haven’t found anything to wear and I read the directions wrong on my yams recipe on the back of the can. Also, I was trying to double the recipe, so I did the math wrong too.

My husband yells from the kitchen stove after checking them: “ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WATERY STILL?”

They had been in there for a 1/2 hour.

Shoot. No. They’re not. I don’t know what to do I ruined the yams I don’t know what to wear I have to get the kids dressed we have to leave I can’t take this anymore I’m sweating and nothing fits!

I begin to cry.

I cry all the way to my mom’s house which is an hour drive while wearing the red maternity shirt which was the only thing festive(ish) and the only thing that fit.

I spend most of Christmas in my mom’s guest bedroom nursing the baby and crying in between.

I couldn’t get it together.

If you would have told me it was post-partum, I would have said, no, I am just having a rough day.

The thing is, they all just feel like “rough days.”

A few days after Christmas, my husband’s friend came to visit.

I couldn’t pull myself out of the bedroom to say hello. I couldn’t stop crying.

I didn’t know what was wrong, I was just having a rough day.

The next day, I felt so claustrophobic I couldn’t sit in the house for another second. The walls closed in on me, I couldn’t breathe right, all I knew was that I had to leave.

I didn’t know where, I didn’t know why, I just had to go and no one was going to stop me.

And so I packed.

I couldn’t leave my baby who I was nursing so I packed up his things too, his bassinet, his clothes, his blankets and diapers and I loaded up the car while my husband protested in sort of this state of disbelief and I left. I just drove off.

I sat in a parking lot a few blocks away and I cried.

Where on earth was I going? What was I doing?

I had no idea.

I was sitting near a really nice hotel where I had gotten a massage done once and some manis and pedis too and so I called to see if they had any rooms available. Their rooms usually go for $200 or more a night. On this night, it was $99.

I’ll take it.

I made up a name to the bellboy and lied and told him I was from Georgia and I was here visiting friends.

He was helping me carry my bags and my bassinet. I wondered what he would have thought if I told him the truth.

I left my house with my baby because I had to leave.

I got to the room, I called my husband and told him I was nearby and I was safe, that I was just going to stay there for the night and I’d call in the morning. He still can’t believe he let me go that day but I think I shocked the hell out of him and he didn’t know what on earth to do.

The thing is, he couldn’t have stopped me from leaving. No one could have.

As my partner in life, he had almost no control over the situation. I was gone with the baby and that was all he knew. I didn’t want to tell him where because I didn’t want him to come get me.

As much as I loved him and we were doing fine as a couple, I just needed to not be near anyone. Except my baby.

I ordered a steak and fries. I ordered Dream Girls. I loved Jennifer Hudson in it. I fell asleep.

The baby woke up every 2 hours and I nursed and fell back to sleep in between in my huge bed with very comfortable pillows and white sheets and the tray with my leftover steak on it near the foot of the bed.

I woke up in the morning feeling as tired and as claustrophobic as I did at home and decided if I was going to feel claustrophobic it would be better to feel that way in my own home surrounded by people who love me rather than somewhere strange and I decided that fleeing didn’t work.

I made it back. My husband still didn’t know what to think. I try to put myself in his shoes even now and that must have been torture for him.

A week or so later, I had my 6 week check-up and the doctor asked me how I was feeling. I said in my chipper voice, “Fine!” (Of course.) And then added, for no reason, really, “I had to leave and go to a hotel room with the baby one night but otherwise I’m fine.”

And she stopped and looked at me with a question mark.

“That’s not normal,” she said.

And she talked to me about post-partum depression, which I was still not convinced that I had. She gave me a prescription for Zoloft that I didn’t think I needed or would take. She gave me a business card for a therapist that I knew I wouldn’t call.

No one could really help me because I didn’t think I needed it.

I did end up taking the anti-depressant, though. I don’t know why but I think I thought I was sick of being sad and maybe this would help.

And then one day a couple weeks later, I woke up and things were clear.

I can’t explain this to you except to say that literally, one day I woke up and the fog had lifted.

The birds were chirping, the sky was blue and I felt like Snow White.

It was almost right at the 3 month mark (about a month and a half on Zoloft) and almost about the time he started sleeping through the night too. We had also had a terrible start to nursing (bleeding, cracked  nippies and PAIN) and that was getting better too.

I don’t know what was different, all I knew was that I was back.

Was it the pill? Was it that I was getting sleep now? Was it both?

I still don’t know.

But waking up that day, I mean truly waking up that day was the only clear sign to me that what I went through was most definitely not me.

For three months, I was not myself.

And now I know that’s ok.

You see, this happens. It happens to mommies every day. And while you’re going through it, you as a mom for sure know that post-partum depression exists but it most definitely is not happening to you. Or so you think.

That’s the funny thing about post-partum depression.

Sometimes you don’t know you’re in it until you’re OUT of it.

I know now that I did have post-partum depression. That the chemicals coursing through my body made me feel as if my reality was real, when it fact, it wasn’t.

Now, what I am NOT saying is that you should take a pill for it. I cannot make any recommendations on that at all whatsoever. I can’t tell you if you need it or if you don’t or when you should take it or when you shouldn’t.

All I can say is that if you are ever feeling like something is just not right, if you can’t get out from under a cloud that hangs over you every day that tries to convince you that this is the way life is and that there’s nothing wrong, ask someone. Ask your doctor. Ask your family. Ask yourself.

Because it doesn’t have to be that way.

I am not proud to say that I did exactly the opposite of what most people are recommended to do, when I felt better I just went right off the pill. I did not wean. Luckily, it was fine and I continued on my merry way. But some people need longer than that or the results can be devastating, like for the woman in Lakeland. I think it’s important to note that I’m not giving excuses for what happens when a woman suffers from postpartum depression, I am saying it’s a very real problem.  

Even now my heart breaks for women who go through post-partum depression because it feels like a terrible road to nowhere, yet like in my case, you may not even see that you’re on it. No one wants to believe that that’s what they’re going through and there are still people who believe that it’s not even a real thing. It is a very lonely place.

But it does exist and it is very real.

I know.

And I know that you find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Like in my case, picking up and leaving.

Did you go through post-partum depression? Do you feel like you’re going through it now?

A couple weeks ago after seeing the Nuclear Cowboyz show for myself, I just HAD to talk to one of the riders about how crazy and insane talented they are. The jumps, the flips, the lighting themselves on fire, it’s pretty intense to watch so it must be pretty intense to be a part of.

I caught up with Metal Mulisha rider, Wes Agee, over the phone. At 23, Wes is the youngest rider in the Nuclear Cowboyz. But he’s been riding most of his life; he got his start around 6 years old when his dad bought him and his brother a dirt bike. Living in California, they used to head to the desert to ride on the weekends.

How did he get good at the tricks?

Wes says they did a lot of their tricks on their BMX bikes which eventually transferred over  to the dirtbikes. And California was the place to be to break into racing as a profession. “Growing up in California, it’s kind of where the industry’s at, just meeting the right people,” he said.

Since my own stunts are limited to straight road biking  (and perhaps some minor wimpy jumps on rollerblades in my 20′s – ooooooh), it really is impressive to see what they do. Even though they make it look so easy, it’s not without danger. He crashed right before the show I saw so he didn’t ride in the Lakeland show, but still they push the limits when they ride together. “When you’re doing a flip trick side by side, you look over at each other, it’s just kind of fun, we can mess around with each other in the air,” said Wes. And sometimes there are close calls. “We actually touched tires in rehearsal it was pretty close,” he said.

Wes is one of the lucky riders to get to run around on fire as part of the show. He says it’s quite a process to get ready for it, too, they are under three layers of protection before they get lit on fire. “It warms up toward the end, but it does protect you pretty good,” said Wes.

Wes says he’s focused on riding hard, being a solid rider and staying safe. So is there anything he’s scared of? “Everyone gets intimidated, but that’s what keeps us on our game.”

The show goes for 13 weekends in a row so it’s a pretty hectic schedule and the riders are on the road a lot. But if you get a chance to go, go see it. “The show’s perfect for young kids I think that’s what they’re aiming for,” said Wes.

And I agree.

You can check out my review of the Nuclear Cowboyz here.

They will be in Tampa this weekend on Friday, February 24th and Saturday Feb. 25th.

This is the unofficial week two of Beast Mode Mondays in which I encourage myself and all of you to workout, run, walk, pushup, exercise, Zumba, whatever it is that is your choice of movement LIKE A BEAST.

How did the first week go you ask? Great! Second week?

Don’t ask. I didn’t post last Monday but this post was written. I wanted to make the next week right.

Maintaining “beast mode” is not easy.

But it’s necessary! It’s necessary for your inner beast to take back part of your day to allow yourself to be a beast!

I read something last week that I will share with you:

Saying “I don’t have time” is the grown-up version of “my dog ate my homework.”

It’s something I learn over and over again. I don’t remember where I saw that now. (I am sure it was probably Pinterest.)

I couldn’t write this post without being honest, I mean part of writing about my journey through life, fitness and motherhood here is admitting my struggles out loud. You’re getting to see what happens to a frazzled Christie who is trying to start a business and is starting to get back into shape after being injured and basically taking the winter off.

It’s not easy being a person who overcommits to things and allows the dog to eat my homework.

So there you go. Now it’s not a secret that I’m struggling to find my footing these days, it’s like no type of busy I have ever been. All very good-busy, but in the scheme of things between finally getting paid blogging work and the kids’ activities, the first thing to go is the workout. I am in very unfamiliar territory. For someone who has trained 5-6 days a week for pretty much 3 years straight, it is difficult to admit I’m finding it hard to scrape together 30 SECONDS to myself.

I started writing out all the excuses but the point is, THEY ARE EXCUSES.

No one has time. You have to MAKE time.  

Literally, it is a day by day, hour by hour choice. I have always known that but each day is different. Each day brings different struggles and obstacles; sometimes there are none, sometimes the universe is out to get you, doing everything in its power to stop you from strapping on your running or cycling shoes.

Don’t listen to the universe. YOU DESERVE YOUR 30 SECONDS, 30 MINUTES, WHATEVER IT IS.

I’m talking to myself here, but feel free to heed the advice.

I deserve more than this for myself.

For me now, I know that the easier I make it for myself to get in my 30 minutes (or more!) I have to make it convenient. So since we last talked, I have secured step one of Beast Mode and it is this:

That’s right, that’s White Lightning right there ready for action in my office. And yes, I have actually trained on her.

Using the trainer is much harder than using the bike on the road, by the way. My legs go on fire pretty quickly.

Also I have taken the liberty of rearranging and cleaning out my office to accomodate both work and working out. It’s amazing how zen-like that feels.

Since it’s so hard for me to get to the gym right now, here’s my step two, my impromptu daily workout that I fit in throughout my day, sometime, any time.

This is in addition to my cardio workout from home. Since I started doing this, I have already added a few things to it:

• Medicine ball to each side during lunges
• Medicine ball or weights to squats
• During the rest between squat sets, doing a different arm exercise like flys or presses
• In between pushup sets, I do a different type of crunch (regular, bicycle, side…)

It’s amazing what just having your own body weight and some light weights around the house can do for you. And also, those wall holds KICK MY BUTT! So do the wall sits which are good for the pooch. (I saw those on Pinterest).

Feel free to do this workout however read below disclaimer.* 

Also if I get called back on the audition from two weeks ago, I’m getting a treadmill.

If I don’t get a call back on the audition, I’m getting a treadmill. (It will just be a little more expensive.)

Also, on Friday I finally got my MRI! I now just have to get the doctor to read it! And Saturday I have the Disney 5k as part of the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon Weekend. Since I have been able to run 3 pain-free miles, the 5k I am sure will go ok.

SO. What are you doing in Beast Mode? Go forth and be the beast that you are. We all have it in us to be great.

And today I’m going to be great.

Disclaimer: If you do the workout I posted, feel free to modify it any way you see fit. Also, I’m not a trainer, I know this works for me and may not work for you, so check with your trainer-doctor-person if you have questions about what to do.

I’m so excited about tiny baseball.

At first I wasn’t sure about it with our history of tiny sports which has been touch and go. There have been some great moments, some moments of running off the field into the beyond, some train watching, dirt digging, crying, twirling, you know, sort of how you picture a 4 year old playing tiny baseball would go. We’ve pretty much ran the gamut of emotions in tiny sports.

So I wasn’t sure how 5 year old baseball would go.

But our first game was Saturday, he’s on the Tigers. And he’s number 7, MY number when I played baseball. *gushing* Seriously seeing him in a #7 uniform makes me swoon and melt in one sitting.

This year has apparently been a big year of growth for him!

He understands the game! He’s getting it!

He hit really well (off the tee) on the first try, no hitting the tee, no whiffing, no spinning around, just solid hits. And then he ran hard, none of this flitting down the line or stopping halfway to walk. This is a big deal! Not that it would matter really about his skills, I really just try to have two principles when we play: try hard & no tantrums. (There’s no crying in baseball.)   

In fact, the whole game went pretty smoothly. Of course there was a pile-up in the outfield. (But it wouldn’t be tiny baseball without one.)

God I love these.

I love pictures like this where he’s suspended in midair.

Flying!

And off to the side, the other one got all pooped out playing soccer and then stopped to give me flowers. 

"Mommy I picked you a fwower!"

So cute. And yes I took the picture as he was handing it to me because I want to remember what his tiny sweet face looks like while giving me a flower when I’m 100.

So overall, the first game went well!

There is hope for us yet! And for me too. It’s taken me many moons to figure out how to be a silent soldier on the sidelines and not worry too much while they figure this whole thing out. But it’s hard. (I’m competitive.)

How old were your kids when they started playing sports? (How did it go?)

I’m so excited I’m busting, Jerry! I’m busting! You may have seen I had *the best day ever* last week on Facebook and I couldn’t say anything UNTIL NOW.

I was chosen as one of the bloggers to head over to Disney’s Princess 1/2 Marathon Weekend to have a whole weekend of running, blogging awesomeness. Since I’ve been injured, I’m running the Tangled Family 5k on Saturday instead of the 1/2 marathon on Sunday (bummer) but nonetheless I will dress up like a princess! Or a Super Hero, I’m not sure! (Which one do you think? Cape or tutu?!)

The weekend includes some blog meet-ups and an interview and run with Jeff Galloway! 

I am excited to talk to him about toenails.

And I’m excited about meeting up with some #Fitfluential bloggers, too!

I’ll be heading over on Thursday and will be there through Sunday so catch up with me on Twitter and Facebook. Meantime, do you have any running questions I can ask Jeff Galloway if I get a chance, anything you’re dying to know??

And dress me up! Should I wear a cape or a tutu to the 5k?!

Take Our Poll

On the way home from my commercial audition last week, I was in the car and the DJ was talking about Pinterest.

He called for the dudes in the audience to admit to being on Pinterest and to subsequently turn in their mancards for being on it. He clearly (and admittedly) did not have a Pinterest account. He cannot possibly know the (awesome) content of Pinterest.

More on that later.

Which got me to thinking, is Pinterest for chicks?

I do know that I personally love it for the recipes, home decoration ideas and crafts……

(Pause)

Hang on while I look dreamily off into the beyond thinking about all the beauty of Pinterest.

Those centerpieces.

Those desserts.

The party ideas…

*sigh*

OK I’m back. Sorry.

But seriously. Does Pinterest appeal to the mens at all? Is it really in some way demoralizing  to be on Pinterest if you’re a man or to have an account on there? (Guys, feel free to chime in here.)

Do men need to gather together to create “Manterest?” Manlier pinnables limited only to man-categories that include things like target practice, beautiful pictures of frothy beer, hot (I mean really hot) vehicles?

So I decided to search for guy things. 

There must be manthings on Pinterest. It contains ideas gathered from the INTERNET! And the internet is all encompassing! 

I mean, seriously. Go onto Pinterest and just try searching for “guns!”  You’ll see what I mean!

Wait, no. Not that.

THIS!

Oh, shoot. Not that either. I mean THIS!

Darn it. That didn’t work either. There’s gotta be something.

OK HERE.

Doesn’t get much better than guns and bacon. (Surely he can have his mancard back for finding this, right?)

OK now, let’s look for cars. That’s a “manly” topic, right? This should be easy.

Sweet! I wish I’d have thought of that when we had our Cars  party! I mean, darn it. That’s not manly.

 Try again.

I don’t see why we can’t coexist peacefully on Pinterest and why there is a call to turn in mancards. (That seems a little extreme) I mean, clearly there are manthings on Pinterest.

There’s even beer.

Yes! Beer cake pops! I mean yes. Beer cake pops. Remember we are looking for something manlier than beer cake pops.

Like, for instance:

There. That’s something men can get behind right? (Those appear to be manhands in the picture so I’d say yes.) Those look quite refreshing.

So there’s no need to feel ashamed or to hide any longer, fellas. You can come out now and keep your mancards.

Pinterest is ok.

And it’s not just me saying it, you’ve seen it for yourselves: Pinterest has the big three (cars, guns and beer!) 

So there’s something for all of us.

You just have to sift through some girlie versions of those things to get to them. Which is sort of like real life anyway, right?

Anyway, don’t be shy. And don’t be afraid to pin a few recipes while you’re on there, the sticky chicken really is to die for.

I have seen my boys’ true genetic colors and I have seen it in the form of freestyle motocross. This stuff runs in their blood, people.

A couple weeks ago we took our first trip into the world of motocross. We saw the rehearsal show for the Nuclear Cowboyz at the The Lakeland Center. If you’ve never heard of the Nuclear Cowboyz, it is a crazy amazing freestyle motocross stunt show where the riders do flips and jumps and even catch themselves on fire on purpose.

There is dancing, there are fireworks, there is choreography and if that wasn’t enough for you, there is also a plot.

The show

Set in the year 2150 in war-torn Los Angeles, there are two tribes of Nuclear Cowboyz: the Soldiers of Havoc and the Metal Mulisha and they’re being threatened with takeover by the Cyborg Army. The battle of good versus evil ensues through a back and forth of fearless and insane stunts on everything from motocross bikes to four wheelers and it’s all set to heavy metal and alternative music (heart thumping, really — I totally rocked out.)

The choreography is done by Scotty Nguyen, who has also worked with Michael Jackson, XBOX, Nike, X-Factor and (I don’t know why this excites me so much) Mortal Kombat. God I loved that game. I can still picture doing the combinations in my head.

My boys are 5 & 4 and in the name of research, I took them to see the show. I’ll set the stage a little. It was at 7:30 p.m. (their bedtime). It was supposed to be loud and loud noises sometimes bother them to the point where they cover their ears and they want to leave (I’m sounding like Mother of the Year right now.)

We sat sort of on one side of the arena instead of the middle, but we were only a couple rows back so we could see everything really well. They were wearing earplugs just in case. We bought them Dippin Dots ice cream and the show started. I didn’t know what to expect but I hoped for the best.

There is probably one way to describe the show and this is it: There was ice cream all over their faces and running down their shirts because they could not take their eyes off the show for one second to see where they were spooning the ice cream. They kept missing their mouths.

To say they were obsessed with the show would be an understatement: they were literally glued.

I had wondered if the crowd would be older or younger (we made the mistake of taking them as very young toddlers to a Cirque du Soleil show once which ended badly) but I was happy and very pleasantly surprised to see the crowd was mostly young kids and some teens, and mostly families. We adults were clearly outnumbered.

The show was a little over 2 hours long and they DID.NOT.MOVE. Except for the brief intermission. We all gasped when the riders did a ridiculous flip or an airborne handstand and especially when the drivers lit themselves on fire and ran around. You’d think that doing these moves for two hours would somehow get old (I mean there are really only so many moves to actually do) but noway, man. Every single time a rider went in the air, it left us wondering if he’d get down ok. (They did.) 

The battle of good versus evil was not without its good versus evil cheerleaders; there were dancers from both sides but don’t worry — they weren’t dressed in anything less than a football cheerleader would be and honestly as they ran up the ramp a zillion times I thought of how that made hill repeats look fantastic. They had fantastic quads.

I wasn’t sure at one point what was happening when some of the cheerleaders were enslaved by the bad guys, that got a little weird to me, but that was only brief and I was thankful that the draw for my kids was the bikes in the air and they weren’t paying attention yet to the girls.

The show was seriously a BLAST and I would take them a million times over. For a couple of kids who get cranky at 7 p.m. and who hate loud noises, they loved this show.

I am pretty sure you will too.

Before I get to the giveaway part, here is 45 seconds of video (includes silent commentary by 5 year old.)

The show is coming to the Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa on February 24th and I am giving away a FOUR PACK of tickets to one lucky winner to go to that show! All you have to do to enter is fill in the Rafflecopter entry form below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The contest closes at midnight on Tuesday, February 21st and I’ll announce the winner shortly after. The winner will have 24 hours to get back to me or I will have to draw a new winner.

Good luck! 

I interviewed a rider from the Nuclear Cowboyz, so stay tuned for that interview! Crazy stuff!

Disclosure: I received 4 tickets to preview the show for this review. I was not compensated for this review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

On Valentine’s Day, I fell in love all over again.

As I watched my 5 year old on the stage with all of the other kindergarteners, his hands making gestures that matched their songs, his face twisting occasionally for some sniffles, bowing at the end of the songs in the sea of little tiny people on risers, just looking at him standing there as a big boy yet looking so small because it’s kindergarten and remembering how once upon a time he was even smaller, I fell in love.

With everything in me, I wanted to snap a picture that could somehow grab everything I felt at that moment along with the feel of his flyaway hair and the shape of his little boy hands and the round of his little boy nose and his toothless smile to keep forever.

I know I will look back and see these pictures some day and they will look like ordinary pictures of a school show, the kind every parent has a million of, but it won’t hold the momentousness I felt right then that I so desperately hoped to capture with my camera.

I could have died of cuteness.

Moments in motherhood move too fast.

Sometimes I can find a way to press pause, but the movie always starts back on its own before I am ready. 

Today I pressed pause as I watched him ring the bells to “Somewhere over the Rainbow” as happy, nostalgic, please-don’t-ever-let-him-grow-up tears filled my eyes.

I cry as I write this.

I cry because I fell in love and the feeling is so powerful it hurts. I can remember how it felt this morning but there will be a day I might not.

I fell in love with my little boy as he performed in his school show and I fell in love with my other little boy as he handed me a “coffee” cup he painted at the “pottewy store” and a tiny handmade card with his hand print on it.

I shall call it my "coffee chalice."

They thought of me today in their tiny little boy ways. (I will overlook the hour-long tantrum the little one threw before bedtime because, well, it was bedtime and I’m pretty sure we pretty effectively found their candy threshold.)

Because at some point today, they were proud of what they did, of what they made, and they showed such pride in all of it and I saw them wait for my reaction with big, wide hopeful happy eyes because it was important to them to see it and they didn’t have to wait for long because I gushed. All over them.

I am not normally one to care so much about Valentine’s Day but having two little Valentines and one grown up one made my life feel so full and happy and rich today, in a way that no piece of jewelry or chocolate ever could.

Today they held on tight and so did I.

I pretty much got all my Valentine’s Day ideas from Pinterest this year.

Which could mean that either Pinterest is a place for very creative people or perhaps that sometime soon I will shut down completely because I won’t have any ideas of my own, I will just look for ideas on Pinterest.

Maybe both.

In fact, even breakfast came from Pinterest.

Heart-shaped birds nests.

I’m not ashamed.

(Very often I find myself on Pinterest thinking, now why didn’t I THINK of that?!)

I do think Pinterest is causing me to think outside the box. When I’m not on there stealing ideas, anyway.

These ideas, however, were just too good to pass up. I made Valentines for the kids’ classes, Kindergarten:

and pre-school:

I took the pictures, added text from Photoshop and then printed them out at Target: $11 for 55 Valentines. That’s not too bad for how creative they are and how much I love them.

(Here is the original Pinterest post I found for those homemade Valentines.)

I also made the teacher’s gifts from Pinterest, they are little pencils made from a roll of Rolos, some paper and some double-sided tape, aluminum foil and a Hershey’s Kiss.

You could really make these any time and they’re super easy to make  especially at 10 o’clock at night Valentine’s Day Eve. 

Dinner is crockpot sticky chicken, also courtesy of Pinterest. Gosh I’m pathetic.

I’m going to have to come up with something original now in order to offset the balance of the universe because I have clearly thrown it off kilter by my overuse of Pinterest. (I love it!)

Sidebar: I have completely messed up the sticky chicken recipe on account that I didn’t read the directions right, so I’ll find out in a couple hours what happens and let you know the outcome. I’m pretty sure though that anything you toss into a crockpot ends up turning out magical. The crockpot is like a magical cauldron of love, you can literally throw French dressing in with onion soup mix and cranberry sauce and make spectacularness come out of the pot. I’m not kidding, either, that’s a real recipe (I will share that sometime it’s amazing. Oddly.)

Anyway I had to share these because they turned out so darned cute.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

Did you make Valentines for kids and/or teachers? Feel free to link up if you posted about it, I love new Pinworthy ideas!

Next week is the week of Valentine’s, but not only that, it’s Random Acts of Kindness Week.

I have always loved random acts of kindness. They make me happier than the little pink wildflowers that randomly grow along the side of a dingy-looking road in giant patches.

I love being a silent observer to random acts of kindness. When I see them happen before my eyes it makes even my day, it warms me up and reminds me there’s good in the world. 

It makes me smile for hours.

I feel like things have sped up so much in our daily lives that acts of kindness often are too far in between, but the good part about that (if there is one) is that since there seems to be a general lack of random acts of kindness (unverified, only noted), they are especially meaningful to the receiver. No one seems to expect random acts of kindness anymore so when they happen, it really genuinely affects people. I know it does for me.

Have you ever seen the target of a random act of kindness? Have you ever seen their face after someone had just done something good for them?

If they’re walking or driving, they’re smiling all the way to their destination afterward.

I think the only thing better than being the target of a random act of kindness is being the performer of the act of kindness. You may not get to see the reaction, but you know that you most likely warmed someone’s cockles to the point where they will probably discuss this further with someone in their life. I try to take every opportunity I can to use the word “cockles.” We just don’t use “cockles” enough in every day language.

But even better than the feeling they get is the possibility that they may even want to pass it on. Before you know it, you’ve launched a series of events that change people.

Anything from taking a shopping cart up for someone to watching their children for a couple hours, to lending the little boy in front of you at Dairy Queen 50 cents to get his ice cream, it can be big or small and more often than not the opportunities actually present themselves.

It usually happens in one split second – the situation arises, there is one second where you can jump in or chime in and either you do and you’ve made someone’s day or you let the moment pass (which happens mostly by accident and if you’re like me, you think about that moment for weeks afterward and wish you’d have just jumped in and helped.)

I’m planning out some Random Acts of Kindness for the week (even though I know that I don’t have to do anything just because there is a week named for it, I can do it earlier or later) but this is a great jumping point.

Do you want to participate?

Here are some random acts of kindness ideas. (There is an entire website dedicated to it!)

I’m going to pick something for every day and if there is nothing picked for that day, I’m going find it throughout my day. But I’m going to get the kids involved too. Here are some of the things I’m going to do with them that I’ve always wanted to do but there will be more:

• Make lunches for the homeless and pass them out.
• Take blankets and towels to the animal shelter
• Send someone a card for no reason

I’ll post them on Facebook so feel free to add yours on there too! I also realize that part of the greatness of random acts of kindness is not needing the credit for it part, but this week I’ll be posting about it just to see if other people will join in. I’ll wrap it up with a post on Friday, February 17th, so if you make someone’s day and post about it, you can link it up that day! 

“Go forth and do great things…”

What are some of your ideas?