As I left the doctor’s office after my six week checkup, my chest felt sorta heavy. So I guess that’s that!
It was very anticlimactic, really. It’s over! It’s done! Where’s the parade?
He examined me. He sat down with me and answered all the questions I had written down in my book, one by one, most of them having to do with exercise. Still no lifting really and that extends to the next three to six months, except I can hold my 35 pound 4 year old as long as I don’t bend over to lift him (hurrah! Yayyyy!!!) And you can bet later on that night I happily carried him to bed even though of course he didn’t want me to.
I can run as much as I feel comfortable which you all know how comfortable that is right now. He did say that everything won’t fall out like I feel like it will, that I feel like that because I lost core strength and things are jiggling. However, no core work for the next three to six months on account of no straining and causing a hernia, so it sounds like my workouts will consist of cardio and arm weights and anything that doesn’t strain my midsection.
Still no “relations” or swimming for two more weeks but that’s just fine with me. (Sorry babe.)
Of course what he couldn’t answer was the one question everyone asks him, the one question I asked with tears in my eyes: so if I’m healthy, if I ate right, don’t smoke or do all those things that increase your chance for cancer, then why did it happen? (I suppose my question in my mind was more like, how can I make sure it won’t happen again?)
He said, “Everyone asks me that.” And he shrugged. I know he wished he could answer it. But he couldn’t.
I suppose in some ways then, it’s like roulette.
So anyway, I’ll see him every six months for the next five years. Best of all, he told me he really believes there’s probably zero chance of recurrence. So basically, it’s over. It really is!
If only I wasn’t having a hard time with the hysterectomy part, which I am. And I’m still mad at The Cansuh for it. I still feel like it took something from me. I’ll get over it eventually.
At the end of the appointment, I hugged my doctor and thanked him. I gave him the cinnamon buns that I made earlier that morning that were still warm. As I was leaving, I saw him chowing on them in the nurse’s office (he didn’t even wait till I left! Hooray!)
The image of him scarfing my cinnamon buns is probably one of my favorite images that will forever be burned in my brain. It makes me laugh inside every time I think about it, I just love it. So for the record, thanks for the suggestion of thanking him via baked goods, I think it was totally perfect.
After the appointment, my husband and I parted ways, he went back to work and I ran some errands which included one final cry in the Dollar Store parking lot as I let this all go (sort of) off into the nethervoids because I am so.sick.of.crying. over this and now I think I am finally done and then I continued running around looking for marbles, of all things, which are actually really hard to find, I mean, they are a basic type of classic toy, shouldn’t they be a standard in any toy section?
Then I made a wine purchase.
I got two bottles just in case.
We drank both.
Cheers to a horrible chapter over.
Onward toward a new one that includes healing and Goofy. And no more crying!
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