If My Parts Could Talk.

If my remaining parts could talk and perhaps they even had eyes and a mouth, I’m convinced right now they’d look like this.

Basically, all the remaining parts are shocked. I think they think they’re next and if they make a peep they’re goners.

So they’re in hiding.

One by one, they are starting to emerge, but it’s very unpredictable when and how.

I am spending my days trying to be one with it (I’d be shocked too if I woke up and my friends were just gone. I think I heard them say they’re glad that guy “The Cansuh” is gone now though, he was such a bully.) 

But anyways, this all is a very slow, drawn-out, sometimes apologetically loud process. Twice my husband thought I was talking to him but I was off in a corner burping.

The only way to be one with the pain of their resurgence into my little organ society is that I know things are waking up and that’s a good thing. That means things are working again. Meantime, in between, I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to think of writing a post. I get to the post title, write a line, and I’m out again.

I’ve never been so tired in all my life.

I’ve been falling asleep on and off to mostly Meg Ryan movies (You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally), I have some candles burning, my husband’s doing laundry, and I’m in a different pair of comfy jammies. I make it a point to shower every day, a process that has gotten loads easier to do by myself (independence, hooray!) There’s nothing worse, really, than naked crouching with an audience and a pocketbook.

I do my laps around the house so as to keep things (painfully) stirring and moving. And also I’m really getting creative with this liquid diet thing. I’ve got some Ensure, Cream of Wheat, strawberry yogurt, tapioca pudding, and leek soup has been my favorite dinner (straining the leeks, just the cream part — yum!) Sadly, the weight-loss part of the regimen I was looking forward to hasn’t kicked in yet, probably because of the amount of IV fluid I had in the hospital because I’m still really puffy. But wouldn’t it be a nice side effect? I think so.

My pain pills last exactly 3 1/2 hours and I am allowed to take them every four. So there is always a 1/2 hour of me saying, “Can I take them now? How bout now? Is it close enough? How bout now?”

Ironically after having worked on my backyard feverishly, I haven’t felt much like going out there. I get hot like the sun and I have the air cranked and I am freezing my family out. But when I do go outside eventually,  I have this waiting for me.

Isn’t she beautiful?

It says, “Mr. Miyagi’s backyard” on it, it’s from my Tri Warrior friends. (Thank you!) I love it so much.

I am still waiting on that darned path report. I really hope they don’t wait the weekend, then again there’s a chance I’ll sleep right through it anyway if they do. I am finally almost done with a post, hurray! I should hurry up and press publish before I fall asleep again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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