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Motherhood (and Mayhem), The Cansuh — April 9, 2012 at 11:23 am

The Importance of Waterproof Mascara.


I got a phone call recently and it was a phone call in which I was sure I was going to need my waterproof mascara.

I hate those kind of calls.

Especially when they’re about you.

For some reason I felt the need to not wear my mom uniform of yoga pants and whatever dri-fit or team shirt was nearest (very much like what I am wearing right now in fact), instead I felt the need to take the extra couple seconds and shower, put on a sundress and the “going out” lipstick.

I rifled through my makeup to find my waterproof mascara and I couldn’t find it anywhere.

I started to get mad.

Like really mad. Violently mad. And I started to cry.


I dumped the sack of makeup on the counter and rifled through the mess.

It was nowhere.

I needed to put on mascara, so I just put on enough to not have powdery eyelashes and not enough to look like Tammy Faye when I got there and couldn’t hold myself together.

I don’t know why it was so important to me to look good on this day but it probably had something to do with the feelings of crap I was having on the inside and when you look better on the outside, perhaps in some warped way I feel like I have a fighting chance at least of feeling better on the inside at some point. When the outside matches the inside for me, then I know things have really gotten bad. I.e. postpartum depression, the flu, things like that, all examples of when I just gave up on the outside because nothing was going to work, and eventually I’d find crumpled up day-before underwear in the foot of my three-day-old footie pajamas.

Those days might come, but this is not one of them so I’m wearing a dress. Dammit.

So even though I didn’t have enough time to wash my hair, I was able to shape it nice enough for my makeshift bun in the back and feel like I was clean and presentable.

I was ready to hear whatever she was going to tell me.

I drove all shaky-like and screamed out loud a couple of times.

Then I pulled it together at the last minute, sat down in the room with a dry face and her face said it before her mouth did.

It’s bad,” she said.

It’s bad.” 

Now let me interrupt for a second just to say that I appreciate when doctors are frank with you and tell you like it is right from the get-go. But I think I could have done without the second, “It’s bad.” When a doctor actually says, “It’s bad,” once is usually enough.

I took a deep breath. I needed to hear how bad.

I thought I was ready to hear this, when your doctor calls you and tells you to come in and “Is now a good time?” then you know pretty much know already it is not good.

But there really isn’t much you can do to prepare to hear this. Except perhaps wear your  damned waterproof mascara.

She said a few words I couldn’t understand and then drew a picture of a vagina, uterus and cervix on a piece of paper and underlined the cervix part.

Endocervical Adenocarcinoma. 

She said the words I couldn’t understand again and I said, “I’m going to need you to write that down,” as I  realized in my franticness to get out of the house, I hadn’t brought my notebook and I bring notebooks to everything, they are (usually) in my car, my purse, my laptop bag, my desk, my bedside table…

So she began to talk some more and sometimes when someone is telling you something you know is really important and really bad all the words string together and you can only pick out key words and the rest just sort of fall to the side, labeled, “unimportant.”

What she was saying was: Cervical Cancer.

She said some more words that stood out.

Invasive.  Versus non-invasive. 



I think it’s about that time that the tears began to fall freely.

I can’t really explain how I felt at that moment except to say it stunned me and I lost all feeling in my hands and I felt 100 tons of pressure on my chest.

I probably turned a pale white because she asked me if I needed to call my husband or did I have someone who could come get me.

Of course I’m not going to call my husband at work and tell him I have cancer, I said, that’s absurd.

And she said, “You have to. I’ll give you a minute.” And she left.

And so I sat there in that cold room, by myself, shivering and in shock and trying to figure out what on earth I was going to do. Do I really call him at work?

So I slowly dialed my husband. It was the weirdest phone call I’ve ever made, I’ll tell you that much right now, calling my husband up at work to tell him she found cancer. I mean, that’s ridiculous! Who does that?

And who wants to get that phone call at work? It seemed entirely inappropriate.

Then again, I probably really should have brought him. It’s not like I didn’t know what she was going to say. (We can laugh about it now, right? Not yet? OK. But sometimes I find that making fun of The Cancer makes me feel better. Is that not appropriate? So, The Cancer walked into a bar… What. Not funny?)

I never in a million years thought I would write that word in reference to myself, by the way. Or perhaps I did solely because cancer has literally touched everyone in my family in some way or form. Did I think I would escape it? Yes, actually. Yes I.DID.

So today as I read the words over and over again and I’ve had a chance to digest some of them, I have come to know that the word “invasive” makes me really fucking pissed.

Also so does Googling ANYTHING. And so I don’t.

I did it once and I nearly shut down. (Don’t you go and do it either. Seriously.)

I suppose the real first thing that I thought when the doctor told me the news was, “Oh snap. Shit just got real.”

Apparently my inner monologue also does “three snaps in a Z formation.”

So. What’s next, right? I go to the oncologist on Wednesday to see how invasive, if at all. He will test the surrounding lymph nodes to see if it has spread. My ob-gyn believes that a hysterectomy is in the cards no matter what, and that’s pretty devastating for me considering I was hoping to add to our family really soon. I guess God has other plans.

I sound like I am matter-of-fact right now but really I am a robot. I have my moments but I am determined from this point forward to make each moment count with my family. To stop worrying about the shit that doesn’t matter. And to have everything continue as normal as possible for as long as possible. Which hopefully means forevermore.

Obviously I’m praying real hard for the non-invasive kind. (And if you would kindly make that request in your prayers, too, I would be forever grateful.)

I have told most of my closest friends and family because well, first, they needed to know, but also because I knew oddly that there would be no way I would not be able to write this post. There is only so much room in my head for words until it feels like it is going to explode and it already feels like that. In fact, I’ve been frozen on my blog not knowing what to post because there is only one thing I’m thinking about right now and it’s this.

So here it is, friends.

Here is where my life got real. I mean really real. FIGHTING REAL. 

I’m not going down without a fight. No one and nothing can make me leave my family without some serious kicking and screaming (biting, pulling hair, all of it).

Oh I am ready.

I’m mad now.


I’m off now to go get some waterproof mascara. Just in case.

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  1. I have no words, Christie, other than to let you know I’m praying so hard for you right now. And that I love you.
    Bari recently posted..LLRB 365: 2012 Weeks 13 & 14My Profile

  2. Praying. Lots.
    Erin recently posted..Holding Our BreathMy Profile

  3. I am praying for you and your family. You can and will beat this! Your a strong woman and can do anything you set your mind to.

  4. Oh Christie! I want to come down to FL and give you a big hug. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You will kick cancers butt and beat this.

  5. I am so sorry to hear that Christy, I am very upset because you do not deserve this but I know you are tough and you will fight it and win. I will keep you and your family in my prayers

  6. oh my gosh… no words. Every fiber in my being is pulling for you, Christie. We love you.
    Karena recently posted..a ride to the parcMy Profile

  7. Hugs and love, Friend.
    PLEASE let me know when and how I can help.


  8. Sitting here in the gym with my girlfriend, wanting to cry for you. You are a rock star and I love you. Now go kick some cancer butt. Xoxoxoxo

  9. Prayers going up. You are way tougher than this crap…you’ve got a cape for heaven’s sake. You are going to kick ass, i just know it!

  10. Oh wow, I really don’t even know what to say. I’ll be thinking about you!
    Heather (Where’s the Beach) recently posted..Running, Relaxing, Enjoying Family TimeMy Profile

  11. love, hugs, and boxing gloves coming your way, darlin. i’m so pissed off for you. and sad. incredibly sad. i hung up the phone and burst into tears.
    Brett recently posted..HOP on Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Pack (mini-movie inside)My Profile

  12. I am sorry Christie. My sister (10 yrs younger than me and in her 20s) went thru the same thing and had a hysterectomy. She is doing awesome these days. And so will you. You are strong person.
    Christine @ Oatmeal Bowl recently posted..Finale: Body for Life ReviewMy Profile

  13. I felt extremely compelled to share with you “Hydrogen Peroxide Therapy”. I will not go into details here, but this could be a method for you to fight this cancer. Simply put, cancer cannot survive in an oxogenated environment. Please contact me if you have questions at all! You CAN beat this!!

  14. I am so sorry for you. Hearing that you have cancer is devistating…having to call your husband at work is even more so. Praying for you. You are tough and strong. You will get through cancer.
    Dawn recently posted..Going The Distance ~ TodayMy Profile

  15. Christie, thinking praying very hard for you. You will kick this cancer’s butt.

  16. i love you. you are inspirational in so many different ways. {{{{{christie}}}}}}}}
    brooke recently posted..Re: 7 Read Along – WasteMy Profile

  17. Christie we are praying for you! You are so strong and will get through this with help from family and friends. With that said Team Barrett is here for Team Big O! Just holler and we are there for ya girl!

  18. I agree with you. It sucks. “It” is cancer, but “it” is not you. You are amazing and you’re headed for many more years of amazingness with your husband and kids. And I hope you found the mascara!

  19. I found your post through your link that I “liked”. I obviously do it like this, but actually hate reading this. You are so strong to share… of course my thoughts are with you and your family. xo
    Bex recently posted..EGGS!! : Yummy Monday Egg Recipe EditionMy Profile

  20. And here I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself cuz I’m so busy I can’t seem to get a handle of basic stuff like housework, and you are about to undergo the most life changing experience you could encounter. My crap doesn’t seem so overwhelming now. I will be praying for you! You are superwoman, you can beat this!!
    AnnG recently posted..Motivation Board – SpringN2ActionMy Profile

  21. Oh Christie! My heart breaks for you. I can’t even imagine. I am praying and praying HARD that this is not invasive and I honestly believe if there is anyone strong enough to beat this it is you. If you EVER need anyone local to help with ANYTHING, please do not hesitate to ask!
    Callie @ The Wannabe Athlete recently posted..Crossfit BabyMy Profile

  22. My heart is aching for you! I love you and you know I’m here for you in ANY way you need. Fuck cancer!!

  23. Fight it like a Lady! Do what you must to beat this. Get second opinions on treatment plans.
    YOU ARE SMART, educate yourself to make the best decisions. This will not be easy, life throws us BIG roadblocks, but you can navigate around and through this. Stratigize a game plan…
    Right now you do not want to read, but you can’t leave your life in someone elses hands. Participate in the decision making.
    YOU ARE STRONG. Allow yourself time to pray. If you become anxious, allow yourself only 90 seconds. Time it. Then move on with what’s next to do. Contact the American Cancer Society for helpful information. Diet, exercise and laughter helps everyone feel better and to live longer.
    YOU WILL BE A CANCER SURVIVOR. We will pray for you and yours. Your life is forever changed. Live life to the fullest and be happy today and all of your tomorrows.
    Wishing you healthful success, sending up prayers,

  24. Sending healing vibes your way…you are bigger and stronger than the c-word!

  25. Christie: I’m so sorry that you got that news and are now going through all of this. I hope you can get through this without having to go the invasive route!
    Felice @ The Happy Runner recently posted..Running fast, running long.My Profile

  26. Oh my goodness Christie, I am so, so, so sorry to hear this.

    I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Best wishes. XOXO
    Samantha recently posted..I Have a DilemmaMy Profile

  27. You rock! You have so much support and love out here! The Pogo’s are sending you their love!

  28. I love you.

    I know that you are a fighter in every sense of the word and you will fight this and win.

    And we all will be here praying for you every single step of the way.
    Colleen recently posted..When Your Dream Is StolenMy Profile

  29. That was the most brilliant way of putting an incredibly tough and heartbreaking situation into a post.

  30. It seems The Cancer doesn’t know who it messed with. Doesn’t it know you’re going to kick it’s freakin’ ass, stomp it into the ground, throw dirt into it’s eye, all while you wrestle it into submission? Stupid cancer won’t know what hit it.

    All ass-kicking aside, I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you must be going through hell in a handbasket. Please know you have many friends who love you and are willing to help you through this. xo friend
    Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting recently posted..That’s The Way, Uh Huh Uh Huh, They Like It, Uh Huh Uh HuhMy Profile

  31. *hugs* Cancer is a nasty bitch that I have complete faith that you’ll be able to take on!
    BrookeNotOnADiet recently posted..April Challenge: Day 9 (Keep Calm)My Profile

  32. You are a strong lady, Christie! You WILL kick it’s ass. (This does not mean you have to be perfect or pulled together at all times.) I will be adding you to my prayers. Also, I follow another kick ass mama who is currently in treatment for cervical cancer, let me know if you’d like the link. She’s almost as awesome as you. ;)

  33. gosh darnit what on earth is the right thing to say in this circumstance :(

    I’m thinking of you … and though I have no idea what you’re going through I hope I can offer a little bit of help – blog posts from a friend of mine – Susan (scroll to the appropriate section, the posts are in chronological order)

  34. I wish I had something brilliant to say that would take away the fear and anger, but I have nothing.

    You’re obviously strong and awesome, and that has to count in a major way.

    Fuck cancer. Fight hard.
    Kenlie recently posted..Friend Makin’ Mondays: Trigger FoodsMy Profile

  35. Christie, no…

    I can’t believe I’m reading this, and I am at a loss for words. Please PLEASE know how sorry I am and how much I’m crossing my fingers for good news about your next steps.
    Katy Widrick recently posted..My Clean Green HomeMy Profile

  36. Sending lots of good vibes and prayers your way.

  37. I’m so sorry to read this, I feel like a lame ass for complaining about a cold I had this week! Sending you strong, positive vibes to kick Cancer to the curb!!!
    Molly recently posted..Is there something in the kitchen??My Profile

  38. I am praying my heart out for the best possible news. I love you xoxo

  39. Honestly…I’ve got nothin’. Speechless. What I do know…YOU’VE GOT THIS! BAM!!!!
    Heidi @BananaBuzzbomb recently posted..Buzz: Blessing In DisguiseMy Profile

  40. oh my gosh. I am so, so sorry. I will be praying for you and your family. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do.
    Heather Montgomery recently posted..Nuun + Hood to Coast = FunMy Profile

  41. Wow. I’m struggling with what to even say here that will help. Just know that in addition to the love of your friends and family, the love and support from your “online” family is here too. To surround you and lift you up while you fight this thing. Hard. Sending you strength, loads of it.
    Jess recently posted..A very stuffy 10-milerMy Profile

  42. You have tons of love, friends, support–that doesn’t make it any less scary, but hopefully it helps to know you are NOT alone at any second of this fight. Dukes up, HillC!!

  43. so sorry to hear this – i am thinking of you!! you know you have an amazing community hear that loves and supports you and will continue to do so!
    Caitlin recently posted..Why I Didn’t Go To Church TodayMy Profile

  44. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I am sending you lots of healing thoughts & prayers your way.


    Andrea recently posted..Weekend RewindMy Profile

  45. EFF The Canca!!!!!

  46. OH dear :( I am so sorry to hear this–thinking of you!
    Heather@Just a Colorado Gal recently posted..Never Fear, I’ve ReturnedMy Profile

  47. Teary-eyed. Praying for some peace.

  48. Oh hunny! This post made me cry and I was not wearing water-proof mascara! You are strong and you are going come out of this even stronger. I am thinking, praying, and wishing so hard for you right now. We are all here for you 100%.
    Krysten Siba Bishop (@darwinianfail) recently posted..Its official…My Profile

  49. oh sweetheart I am praying fiercely for you.

    Recently I had to get a brain mri to see if i had a tumor and it was all completely not dramatic until i had to drive to the doctor to find out, then i was terrified. now the process of more testing continues, so I know how frustrating and emotionally draining all the Googling and wanting to know and wanting answers can be. you are in my thoughts!!
    Amanda @RunToTheFinish recently posted..Workouts and Gear: Kinvara 3My Profile

  50. Praying lots! Keep strong and lean on those around you (both IRL and here).

  51. You are the toughest momma blogger I know, you will fight and win. In the mean time you, your family and your strength will be in my heart and prayers.

    Stay strong, kick cancers ass.
    crookedeyebrow recently posted..running proudMy Profile

  52. Oh hon, I wish I could do something more than offer a big, huge, supportive hug. But I’ll be sending healing thoughts and lots of love.


    Connie recently posted..Plus Size Style: Fresh Produce Clothing – Life’s Too Short To Wear BeigeMy Profile

  53. I love, love, LOVE YOU and am praying that you get the best, hopeful news this week. I am here for you, always. xoxo!
    lissa recently posted..the other kids.My Profile

  54. Christie I love you and i KNOW you will KICK CANCER’S ASS!!!!
    Renee recently posted..Zumba, Paleo and weight lossMy Profile

  55. Christie …. nothing that I say here is going to be the right thing. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family as you conquer and BEAT this. Just know you have an entire community behind you.
    Madeline @ Food Fitness and Family recently posted..Weekend RecapMy Profile

  56. As soon as I saw your title, I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. Christie, I read all your posts but don’t comment. I will from now on. Sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family. One foot forward at a time.
    Tamara recently posted..Monday Motivation: a circuit training workout to kick start your weekMy Profile

  57. Christie – I AM SENDING HUGE HUGS!!!! I have had family members with cancer. My husband’s brother’s wife is battling stage 4 breast cancer right now at 50. She went in & even though she had a mammogram in July – it had spread & into her bones too .. I just let her wait till she was ready to talk.

    Can I ask her anything for you? I know a different cancer but anything that you might want to know that she might know..

    Jody – Fit at 54 recently posted..Gratitude Monday & FrustrationMy Profile

  58. Sending you much love.

  59. Praying for you and I hope that we as your readers can help you on this journey in whatever way you need, whether it’s just by being here, or more. Hugs to you and your family.
    Laurie recently posted..Reverend Trudeau – Alberta NDP Candidate Spruce Grove St. AlbertMy Profile

  60. i finally read the entire blog. hard to read without welling up. you are one of the strongest people i know. im a firm believer that god doesnt give us more than we can handle. so i know you will handle it.

    after reading the blog, one thing really hit me. you are an amazing woman.

    hang in there girl!

  61. Praying for you, and hoping you get the best possible news this week.
    Jaime recently posted..Knoxville half marathon – a review of sortsMy Profile

  62. Out of lurking mode to give you a hug. You can do it.

  63. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
    @PavementRunner recently posted..US Half Recap: Bunny RaceMy Profile

  64. Fight it light a girl, honey, and know we are all here to fight by your side. Not fair at all!

  65. Oh my gosh Christie. I am so sorry to hear that. I will be keeping you in my prayers always! You will kick this cancers ass <3
    Brittany @ GOtheXtraMile recently posted..Laid BackMy Profile

  66. Oh honey, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. But I know that you are one strong woman and you can kick this things ass. You are in my prayers. Your family is in my prayers.
    Janeen (Chupieandjsmama) recently posted..Saw The Allergist TodayMy Profile

  67. Kick ass, Christie. FIGHT like hell. You are a fighter! Praying for you and spreading your story to get the good prayer fight going!


  68. Sending you healing thoughts and prayers!
    @MalindaAnnHill recently posted..Malinda Meets Memorable MarathonersMy Profile

  69. Christie, You will do this! It will be hard, but as a survivor of breast cancer, I know you can do this!! Hugs!!!! Shayna

  70. So very, very sorry. I am thinking of you and praying for you. Cancer sucks, just sucks! I’m glad you are mad–use it to fight it and kick it to the curb! I’m behind you.
    misszippy recently posted..We almost (all) made itMy Profile

  71. Swim Bike Mom posted your blog. Count me in as a prayer warrior. Take all your strength and kick some cancer butt!!

    Carrie @Tempo Life Coaching recently posted..The Silver LiningMy Profile

  72. so terribly sorry all I can say it sucks an in a big way you will be in my thoughts

  73. You are a warrior mom…you will kick cancer’s butt and tell your grandchildren about it some day. Sending all positive vibes to you that I have!
    Caroline Calcote recently posted..Let’s scrap MondayMy Profile

  74. My mom had the same thing. She was 41. She had a hyster, and some other treatments I didn’t understand at the time. She beat it. My prayers are with you, for you. around you.
    Cat @ Breakfast to Bed recently posted..Just Say Thank You.My Profile

  75. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, the news, having to call your husband, still having the aftermath. I hope the love we all send your way and our thoughts and prayers help you during it all.
    Julie (@ROJRunning) recently posted..Nuun Hood to Coast ApplicationMy Profile

  76. Christie I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Michelle @ Running with Attitude recently posted..Monday MotivationMy Profile

  77. Sending loads of good pixie dust your way ~*~*~*~*~*. Crap news for sure. Fight like hell lady! We’re all behind ya.
    Denise L recently posted..Lovin’ on my iPod TouchMy Profile

  78. Sending you strong, powerful fighting prayers. Haven’t decided if this makes me want to punch someone or shed a few tears. Make cancer your bitch! We are all pulling for you!!!

  79. Sending many healing and fighting vibes to you and your family! You are an incredibly strong woman and you got this!
    Kelly @ Laughter, Strength, and Food recently posted..Dye JobMy Profile

  80. There are no words that can make it better, but you are a rockstar and you have a bad ass group of people praying for you and sending every ass kicking vibe they have your way. I love your attitude and I’m here to be another of your supporters!

    I also don’t know why I think it’s okay to cuss in a comment like this. I apologize to you…not the cancer. That bitch sucks.
    Carissa recently posted..Easter BrunchMy Profile

  81. This is such a beautiful post for the unsettling news you received – I admire that! You and your family have all of my thoughts and prayers as you fight this battle – You will own this cancer and show it who’s boss!
    Lynne @LGSMASH recently posted..Fun: Rugby at Infinity ParkMy Profile

  82. So sorry Christie. You will definitely be in my prayers.

  83. I’m so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and I know you are going to kick cancer in the @$$!
    April B recently posted..Note to Self…My Profile

  84. Thinking of you and how you are going to kick some serious cancer ass! I am sending positive healing vibes your way…
    Jessica M recently posted..Altra Provisioness ReviewMy Profile

  85. With tears in my eyes and shaky hands… this mother is sending you – a strong mother – healing and strength and determination. Along with a few prayers for your family. Lifting you from afar and keeping all my fingers & toes crossed for good news at your next appointment.
    Barb recently posted..A week awayMy Profile

  86. Oh, I’m so sorry… praying for strength for all that you need to pull through this!
    Laura recently posted..4 the Park Race Recap and JellyBean runMy Profile

  87. You packed a lot of story, emotion, power into this post. Meantime, I am now going to find my mega-supply of waterproof mascara. Want to borrow some when I get the bulk size? May I borrow your cape?
    KymberlyFunFit recently posted..No Posts Were Found!My Profile

  88. I just found your blog. I am sorry about your diagnosis, but I can tell from your posts that you are a fighter. Sending lots of prayers for strength to fight like the warrior you are!
    Christy recently posted..The Week(s) in PicturesMy Profile

  89. No words here can really mean enough, but you have quite the community and I will just be another prayer warrior. Your strength and attitude are so amazing!
    Karla recently posted..InstaFriday!My Profile

  90. Cancer sucks donkeyballs. Know that your community of friends, fans and family are loving on you, supporting you and praying as hard as we can that you will give cancer the curb-stomping of a lifetime.
    Steph @fitmomtraining recently posted..Motivation Monday: Damn you Easter Chocolate!My Profile

  91. I am so sorry. Please add my thoughts and positive prayers to your list. I know I am a total stranger to you, but I am a fan of your writing and know you have another random stranger in another random corner of the world on your side, cheering you on in this battle.
    Jennifer recently posted..Still on my SoapboxMy Profile

  92. Oh Christie….I’m so very sorry!!! Please know you have been in my prayers since I first read this….and will be until your post that says you beat this cancer. Hugs and prayers!

  93. Christie, I am sorry to hear this news. Sending hugs your way. My mom was diagnosed with cancer over 2 years ago and is doing real good. You WILL get through this.
    Angie @ Losing It and Loving It recently posted..Feeling EnergizedMy Profile

  94. good thing you wear a cape on a daily basis! you WILL get thru this! & then we will run princess 1/2 again & celebrate in sparkle!

  95. Praying for a miracle and blessed healing….you can do this and will and have lots of friends and family to fight with you….

  96. Praying for you Christie. You are so so so brave to post this and I know your cape is fastened and ready fight.
    Jess @ Blonde Ponytail recently posted..Hood to Coast Relay: Meet Your Nuun-jaMy Profile

  97. Sending you my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))
    Julia recently posted..A Few of My Favourites from EasterMy Profile

  98. I don’t even know where to begin with words. Cancer sucks ass! Put on your cape and kick some serious cancer butt!
    Angela @ Happy FIt Mama recently posted..Runs With FriendsMy Profile

  99. Praying for you, Christie…you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers…You will get through this!!!
    Michele @ nycrunningmama recently posted..Strong women in my lifeMy Profile

  100. PRAYING FOR YOU! Praying strength, peace, and JOY in the midst of struggle for you and your beautiful family.

  101. Praying for you, and sending you virtual hugs.

  102. I’m praying for you! You are so incredibly strong and I know you will get through this.

  103. I will undoubtedly be praying for you, your family, your doctors, it all tonight. You are certainly strong and I know you know that God will use this. Sending you a virtual hug. Go ahead and let out all you’re feeling – fear, anger, whatever.
    Tina @ Best Body Fitness recently posted..A New BeginningMy Profile

  104. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! You WILL beat this, I have faith!! <3 <3 The FitFluential FAMILY is behind you!!

    God Bless!!
    Kasey recently posted..#MirrorlessMonday “Competition Day”My Profile

  105. Sending big prayers your way! Amazed by your strength and courage:)
    hikermom recently posted..It’s Monday and the End of Spring BreakMy Profile

  106. Oh, Christie! I am praying for you and your family. Cancer is an evil thing. I’m sending you a hug – lots of them.
    Tami Q recently posted..Girls Uncovered: What America’s Sexual Culture Does to Young WomenMy Profile

  107. christie, I am so sorry to read this news. Prays and lots and lots of positive thoughts go out to you. You are strong, determined and healthy, you will fight this and win.
    Jenna @ Newlyweds recently posted..Menu Plan MondayMy Profile

  108. Christie, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Please know you’ve got people in the Midwest praying for you as well. You are one tough chick. Cancer’s going to run scared! Love and hugs,

  109. Thinking of you and praying for you. xo
    FatFighterTV recently posted..How I got past my spinach-in-protein-shakes fear (and why you should too)My Profile

  110. You are going to kick cancers ass to the curb and I will be right behind you with all the prayers and support you need. Even if we are over thousand miles apart, I’m right here! ((hugs))
    Nancy recently posted..Spring In2 Action Week 1My Profile

  111. You are strong, awesome, and absolutely amazing. Im praying for the best possible news for you on Wednesday. There is no doubt in my mind that you’ll beat this.
    Tracie recently posted..WI Wednesday – Spring In2 Action 2012 Week 1My Profile

  112. You are so brave. I am praying for you and your family.

  113. Prayers and Positive energy coming your way. Hugs to you and your family now and the many days ahead.
    amber recently posted..#MissionGiveaway Vera Bradley Purse & Walmart GCMy Profile

  114. Oh Christie- I am so sorry. Holy smokes lady. You amaze me that you can write all this and share so much so soon. Praying for you, sending thoughts your way and heck yeah, you are ready for a fight! You can take this thing.
    STUFT Mama recently posted..“NUUN”-thing is Going to Stop MeMy Profile

  115. Hugs and prayers! You are strong, fit, and a fighter. You will conquer this! You have so much support behind you too!

  116. There are no words Christie…I am so so sorry…prayers, hugs, and much love to you.
    Caryn B recently posted..Spa Week Returns and Spotlight On Skin Care At BodyCentre Wellness SpaMy Profile

  117. Lots of hugs and positive vibes being sent to you right now. You go fight this.
    Jen recently posted..Race The Runways RecapMy Profile

  118. Christi, Jody from trut2beingfit posted a link to your post. First, hugs, lots and lots of hugs.
    I know what you are going through. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago. It seems I beat it but I am not allowed to call myself a cancer survivor till 5 years had passed. But just in case, I am not wearing any makeup. :)
    You ARE going to be fine and you ARE going to beat it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  119. Oh Christie, I am so sorry to hear the news. Cancer obviously doesn’t know who it’s dealing with, it picked the wrong lady! Praying for You and your family as you begin the journey. You’ve got the sisters behind you all the way momma! We love you-stay strong girl!

  120. After reading this post, I KNOW you are going to punch cancer in the face. Hard. Thinking of you and praying lots!
    Meghan recently posted..Weekend Warrior.My Profile

  121. oh honey, *I need waterproof mascara after reading that. You… you need boxing gloves and a crowbar… to beat this thing into submission… and I know you will.
    So much to say… so much to feel… but for right now, I just want to tell you: I love you, I support you, I believe in you, I’m hear for you, I adore you, I admire you, I’m mad as crap for you, and I’m counting on you… to destroy this invader. I know you can, I know you will, and I’m praying for all sorts of strength and comfort and wisdom and courage for you along the way. You are ***not in this alone…. not for one single second. Call me, write me, email me, text me, anytime, anything, anywhere. Since my hours (as you remember) are strange, I’m available in the mornings, when maybe others aren’t. I’m at your disposal, honey.
    LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  122. wow, so sorry to hear. You are strong though and lots of prayer gotcha covered!! Please know that. xxoo

  123. Wow, Christie. I so admire your bad ass attitude. You are going to kick cancer’s butt! Sending you love, hugs and many, many prayers.
    Heather @ For the Love of Kale recently posted..Dear Younger SelfMy Profile

  124. First a big ass hug… Second.. my favorite waterproof mascara is diorshow THIRD.. I’m hear to help you kick it’s ass!!! Saying major prayers for you and your family.. anything I can do to help you get through this please reach out..
    BK recently posted..Casual FridayMy Profile

  125. How can I not add to the love you are receiving?? I love you! Exclamation point! Life has trained you to beat this, better than any other person I know. Miss your face!

  126. Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! You are such a strong, inspirational woman! I will be praying for strength, healing and wisdom for you, doctors, and your family!! Hugs hugs hugs!!
    Rachel @RunningRachel recently posted..Get #NakedatSXSW for a chance to win an iPad and a treatment from @CoolSculpting!My Profile

  127. Sending you all of my love and positive thoughts <3 Fight through it all – amazing and strong attitude <3

  128. Christie you are absolutely in my thoughts and prayers!!! While of course this is one really tough time for you and I’m sure you have a lot to work through, I have to say…your attitude makes me want to hoist my fist into the air, yell “Hell yeah!”, and give you a high five. Why? Because it’s someone with the drive and fight that you have that gets through things like this…and inspires us to do the same when shit hits the fan.
    Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted..Thinking clearly & setting goals.My Profile

  129. I read this the other day on my phone, but am just now getting to a computer to post a comment. Definitely praying for you and your family to come out on top as easily as possible! I haven’t even met you yet, but I have a whole boatload of admiration for you already!

  130. I know we’ve never met, but as part of the Fitfluential family, I want you to know I’m crossing my fingers and fighting for you over here. I’m sending you all the positive thoughts I can send you. Your post is one that without a doubt is an inspiration and reminder to stay positive no matter what life throws at you. Your attitude is so admirable. Stay strong and know there are more people out there than you can imagine rooting for you.
    Electra @ Vanilla Bean Lean recently posted..Guilt-Free Mac ‘N Cheese MondayMy Profile

  131. I’m a bit behind in my blog reading, but know that I wishing nothing but a speedy recovery for you. The strength you had to write this post is amazing – I can’t imagine the battle you’re going to give that damn cancer. Stay strong – all us bloggers are here for you if you need us!
    Alicia at Poise in Parma recently posted..event recap: Yuri’s Night at Great Lakes Science CenterMy Profile

  132. Shit. And beyond that lovely sentiment, I’m at a loss for words. Love ya girl, and I’ll keep you in my prayers!

  133. Many thoughts and prayers coming your way!!!

  134. Oh Christie, you can kick this cancer’s arse, HARD, I just KNOW it!! I am so sorry that you are going through this though and I’m praying really hard for you. Much love…. Elaine

  135. I am a fifteen year survivor of stage three metastic lung cancer. Just remember that attitude is 95% of the battle and that which does not kill you makes your stronger. Roll with the punches and remember that your cancer will not define you but it will shape your life and future. Keep up the good fight you sound like you have what it takes.

  136. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this (without mascara) or your hubby. Just a few months ago I was the other end of the phone having a nurse call me and that I need to come be with my husband. They had found something on a MRI which was for a torn ACL not freaking cancer. So my heart breaks for you but I feel passionately about the FIGHT!! I would love to connect if you want to chat more. You are definitely not alone. HUGS and LOVE.

  137. I am so sorry Christie. I have no words except that I am mad and angry too after reading your post (and maybe a bit teary eyed too). I really admire you attitude and know that you will put up a hell of a fight. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Humble PieMy Profile

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