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Somewhat Off Topic — August 14, 2011 at 8:00 am

Top 5 of My All You Can Eat Favorites


Yesterday I wrote a list of unnecessary all-you-can-eat buffet items and while I was writing it I remembered that I do have a few favorite all-you-can-eat items too, enough of them in fact to create its own list.

It’s been only over the past couple of years that have I improved my relationship with food in order to have some sort of control over myself at any kind of buffet.

I am proud of this.

It does not make me stop wanting these things (and hence having favorites), but I do now have it in my control to stop eating these things at some point (and respect the favorites). I don’t know why I feel the need to disclaimer the fact that I don’t buffet myself very often, perhaps it’s because I am proud of the mental restraint I have developed over over-eating or maybe perhaps it’s just because I am one with the fact that I love the Shoney’s bacon buffet. And I’m really not afraid to say it.

Yes I have a picture of me post-bacon. It was also post-half-marathon, if that counts and I think it does.

Which leads us to the list. My top 5 favorite endless or all-you-can-eat items (and I warn you. These are not fat free. I do however, only partake in these on a quarterly basis. If that counts and I think it does.)

1. BACON! I mention this at the end of the last list but no one needs this much meat in their life. Except maybe me. I love bacon, specifically the Shoney’s breakfast buffet. Like I said. It makes number one.

2. CRAB LEGS! Can you tell I’m passionate about these things? I’m using all caps. One time in college, I blew off writing a paper because I spent the entire day going through the yellow pages (yes, the yellow pages. I’m old. It’s before I had the internet at my disposal). I was looking for all-you-can-eat crab legs. They don’t really list all-you-can-eat crab legs in the yellow pages, so I called every restaurant I thought might have them. I even called the wholesalers to see who they delivered to. I didn’t get my paper done that day. I didn’t get crab legs either. It was a bummer.

3. Cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster. I can’t help myself. Well yes I can. By not going there because I know I can’t help myself. By the way this one can be a double win, what with the crab AND the biscuits. I’m just sayin.

4. Fried clams. I don’t know when or if they do this anywhere anymore but in 1970-something (maybe even early 80s) my parents would take me to the HoJo for all you can eat fried clams. Believe it or not, a 5 year old can eat a lot of fried clams. It was back then that we fell in love.

5. Thanksgiving feast. By far my favorite holiday of the year with the perfect combination of turkey, gravy, stuffing, yams, and cranberry sauce, preferably all in one bite on one fork. The perfect bite. Every time. My sister understands this. She’s probably nodding in agreement. It’s sort of my own all-you-can-eat because I am in charge of Thanksgiving.

I wish I didn’t love food but I do. I have only just begun to respect it. That was a whole ‘nother story.

My next quarterly bacon buffet will be on September 26th. (Yes I know the date.) The same people in the above picture will be there with me. If they’re reading this now, this is their notice. It will be after the Augusta Half-Ironman.

There will be bacon.

What are your buffet vices?

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  1. There is an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant in my city .  I can do some SERIOUS damage there!  When you are seated at this place, you are given a laminated copy of the menu and a grease pencil and you just check off what you want.  They serve the food family-style.  When you have cleared the table, you can ask for another menu and you rinse and repeat until you are stuffed silly. The best is when you go with a bunch of people and everyone orders something different so you get to sample almost the entire menu.  So.  Good.  So. Bad.

  2. BREAD!! I eat bread so much at buffets (or anytime it’s available in quanitity) to a fault!! I try to stay away from it as much as possible these days, but it is EVERYWHERE!

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